Think of yourself as the house, and the cliff as the weekend
Another enjoyable weekend to look forward to. If you gonna drink, drink hard but catch a cab!! – No regrets In the weekends rugby, The Sharks take on the Blue Bulls in what will be the feature Currie Cup game for the weekend. Province take on the falcons and the mighty Lions take on Griquas. The Proteas take on Zimbabwe in what will surely be a onesided affair. Hope you all have dates for the Formal.. May be flying in for the big event.
Enjoy the weekend!
Giant Catfish netted after 20 hour fight!!
A fisherman in Northern Thailand has netted a fish as big as a grizzly bear, a 646-pound Mekong giant catfish, the heaviest recorded since Thai officials started keeping records in 1981. The behemoth was caught in the Mekong River and may be the largest freshwater fish ever found.
Joey’s take on this story: “hmmm a big fish that!”
Joey educates yeah – What makes a Chillie hot?
A chilli is judged by its heat, but have you ever wondered why that “heat” is such an important factor?
Your chilli’s bite comes from the white fibrous membranes that contain a substance called capsaicin. When the capsaicin is eaten it stimulates the brain to release endorphins into the bloodstream, creating a natural high similar to that which athletes experience. The hotter the chilli the “higher’ you feel. (No! Eating chillies won’t increase your athletic
performance.)
That makes it both addictive and a powerful anti-depressant. Capsaicin also stimulates the appetite, helps to clear the lungs, improves circulation and acts as a painkiller for rheumatoid arthritis sufferers.
But not all chillies are suicidally hot and beginners are advised to start with milder varieties, like Anaheim or Fresno, that produce a tangy, glowing sensation in the mouth.
The general rule is that the smaller, narrower and darker the chilli, the greater its pungency.
“But that’s not always so because growing conditions can affect a chilli’s hotness. Even chillies from the same bush can vary in intensity. The tip of the chilli is its mildest point so if you want to test a chilli for hotness, cut the tip and taste it cautiously.”
Here’s a rough heat guide:
(1 = very mild 10= atomic)
2 – 4: Anaheim and Fresno:
4 – 5: Hungarian Wax:
5 – 6: Jalapeno, Long Red Cayenne, Serenade,
7 – 8: Thai Chilli, Fiesta, Aquille, Rajah, Doomsday
9 – 10:Tabasco, Habanero
www.herb.co.za
EX BOSCH LAD DOMINATES YOUNG DESIGNERS EMPORIUM
Every so often a school produces an individual with that special X factor destined for success. Young David Zeeman, 23, owner of the clothing label Culture Lab is fast becoming a very popular name in the South African clothing bizz. Nadoes, young and old, and some of S.A’s top celebs (who I have sworn not to mention) have been seen socialising amidst Cape Town’s more recognised hotspots wearing this Kid’s popular brand – Culture Lab Next time you are in YDE be sure to check out his latest stuff.. I’ve seen some of the new kit… ITS SKINNY SICK and he’s sure earned Joey’s PLAY-OF-THE DAY AWARD!!! .. other claims to fame associated with this kid include dating Roxy Williamson, being an aquaintence of personality Grant McEvoy and achieving a hole in one at at the tricky East London Country Club.
Keep up the good work D-Zee!!
Playing tennis at altitude
We’ve seen golfing guru Tiger Woods hit balls from this elavated position now they have organised an anual tennis match between the worlds top two tennis dudes. Sure plenty balls are lost BUT funny to think that at 2km above sea level you would be 700m higher up were you to be playing tennis in Joburg!!
Love the Irish
John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!” That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the best toast of the night.” She said, “Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?” John said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.” “Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.”
She said, “Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised meself. You know, he’s only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.”
Word.
I have been emailed by several folks, curious as to why there is no dating game this year. My answer is two-fold. Firstly the dust is yet to settle after last years result. The losing finalist is still on my case about a vote recount – investigation pending ... secondly like the ICC World series of Cricket, the dating game only occurs every 2 years in order to allow time for a new crop to be born.
I am setting up a “one on one” interview with Skinny Bobstad now that he looks to be returning to our shores, so look forward to a Shmoke and a Pancake with Bob in weeks to come.
How to spot a peadophile
This being the season of Love, we need to be on our toes with extra vigour. Lets say you just moved into a new neigbourhoozy and your gardener looks shifty. Is he a peadophile? Here is a very handy guide to train you to spot these dodgy’s like a pro.
Miller’s Friday teachings
To appreciate the beauty
and find the best in others.
To leave the world a bit better,
whether by a healthy child, a garden patch
or a redeemed social condition.
To know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded!
Pinelands cricket nurtures raw talent
Meet Steak Knife.. a.k.a Colin Birch .. this humble 23 year old cricketing sensation has in a small space of time elavated himself to the big time big in Cape Town’s pemiership league. Equally comfortable with bat and ball, this young kid possesses that raw cavalier style ability not seen since the early eighties when Beefy Botham was in his prime!!I suggest you get out there this season and watch this man in action together with other senastions at the very popular Pinelands Cricket Club. Cheese Meintjies and Nick Mac to name a just a few – more to follow on these kids progress as the season unfolds..
Email Joey Miller your thoughts
Breaking news!!!! – Bob considering signing up for the Sharks
Bob Skinstad, who has taken a self-imposed absence from the game since 2003, is considering playing in next year’s Vodacom Super 14. He will return to South Africa with his wife and recently born daughter in the next few months.
The former Bok captain remains confident that a successful reintroduction into the Super 14 could see him challenge for a World Cup place.
Skinstad played in the 1999 World Cup, but missed out in 2003 because of a broken arm.
Joeys take on Bob’s return: “Lets give the kid a chance I say!!! , hell he could be utilised as a super-sub as in days of old..
More on this story at www.keo.co.za
What is up with chicks in the Millenium??
Ok, so this mate of mine comes round last night. Just broke up with his girlfriend. Been 5 years on & off and this time it is what it is..over.
With a glass of wine in his one hand and a cigarette in the other he asked the question.. why is it that these days chicks are after the pretty boys, the players, the metro boys when if they look under the finger nails they will see the truth of the “look” outside and the truth that lies beneath.
Is it too much celebrity, after all, we live in the age of the cult of celebrity. Whether it’s on TV, in the pep store advert, in a picture next to last weeks SA soap star or the model boy with the developing personality, this will somehow validate you as a human being…. right?
Where are the woman of beauty that look for that little something more…authenticity...in Cape Town I ask you?? ...not likely.
Reckons he`s looking for the rare find, the beautiful woman who finally realises that it`s all poxy…yes that vodka redbull deceives, and that the local hip boy starts & ends in the look…that they can actually really know…what is it that they really want.
No more power, no more money, no more credit, no more pictures, no more striving to make the social pages of the Times, no more latest right now, no more in-betweeners, no more career opportunity, no more feng shuay..whatever, no more looking for the next person to walk through the open door that fits the current socially happening paradigm. It`s all bollocks he reckons, the chickens will come home to roost. It`s all bullshit!
“We are a generation raised by woman, I`m wondering if a another woman is what we really need” – Fight Club.
He`ll wait, wait in hope, that though beautiful, been around the block, seen it all, she will see it, see it all. “She`s out somewhere out there now” – “Forget her” – Jeff Buckley
Said he had to get it off his his chest. It`s off & he`ll deal with it.
Lamentations.
Wildman captured smoking up a storm at Hemisphere!
In probably one of the most bazaar sightings ever sent in, the infamous WILDMAN was seen strutting his stuff at the popular Hemisphere this Saturday night. He was accompanied by a small, yet well presented man fast prooving to be Wildman’s sidekick for the summer season, and who could only be identified as Dickels.Rumours have reported that he was seen dancing sexually with a much younger woman but this is still unconfirmed as we have no footage. More to follow on this wild phenomenon…
Jake finally gets it right
It was’nt pretty but in the end it was enough. A big shout out to Jake for bringing on Ruan with 30 mins of play left. The man clearly oozes class and it’s only a matter of time before he becomes another great. Lets hope Ruan and Andre can remain as the halfback combination for many tests to come. Well done lads, great win!
Joey calls, Jake answers
The classy Andre Pretoruis is back and the nation can once again breath a huge sigh of relief. We were never going to win a big game with Butch at flyhalf – Fact. I like Butch but he’s shit!
Team for Saturday’s game in Rustenberg
Springboks: Jaque Fourie, Akona Ndungane, Wynand Olivier, Jean de Villiers, Bryan Habana, André Pretorius, Fourie du Preez, AJ Venter, Pierre Spies, Pedrie Wannenburg, Victor Matfield, Johann Muller, BJ Botha, John Smit, Os du Randt.
Boks anger me
This weekends test at Loftus was an absolute shocker. If Pretorius and Pienaar are not in the starting lineup next week then I’ll be one angry man! We need not panic and plaster Jake just yet but I boil it down to poor selections and a basic all round lack of flair. Hell I would far rather spend an hour watching the Nadoes ( U cha cha) swing the ball around than have to witness what I saw on the telly this weekend. Percy is a great guy, full of fun but surely he cant be around for much longer. Habana has been quite for far too long, I’m concerned. The bottom line is we need a few changes for next week.. Make us proud again Jake, and stop being a pampoen… Gaaaaad!!
Check what I did all day
Came accross this fella whilst walking the new puppy on the beach yesterday, apparently a keen sandpitter… Jeff his name had spent the majority of the afternoon making this master-piece on Camps Bay beach. Jeff a Yorkshireman was available for comment to which he stated…..”Yeah mate, this has been my finest hour, Im very emotional as to what I achieved out here today” ... More to follow on Jeff in weeks to come.
Feet
What do feet tell us about a woman? There is something mysterious about them. These toes in picture were sent in by Debbie Goldman, she describes her mates toes as…..... Cliff-hangers ... DO YOU have cliffhangers ... Take a look – I think you do.
JJ Elley spotted at Caprice
This snap of property guru JJ Elley was sent in late last night by adoring fan, Mike Meyer. The man in question, Elley was clearly not expecting the snap shot whilst frequenting Cape Town’s luxury bar with a view this Sunday. Is that a receding hairline some are asking… more to follow in due course, keep a look out for JJ, he’s apparently harder to find than a Springbok fullback.
Letter
Hi Joey, whats up with all this Peas business, are you really into this girl or is this a setup?”
Joey’s response: – Well kid, who knows really… this person “Steeler” seems to be quoting shit from the popular cult movie “Days of thunder” ... probably someone with alot of time on their hands – a bird-like person.
So what did “YOU” do this weekend Tarzan??
Not all of us can say we did anything half worthy this weekend. Blame Friday night!! Hows this picture!! Pretty sick stuff. Tried out Ftv on Friday night.. its getting better I must say. Alba Lounge is under rated on Saturday nights, give it a whirl sometime, get a whisky on my tab.
Broke-Bat Mountain
I laughted when I read this heading caption. haha, funny stuff.. I dont have to say much here.. haha ha haha
Come on Summer – Cape Town ROCKS!!!!!!
I get a bit carried away sometimes but you cant blame me, this summer is gonna give us more hits than the beatles… and trust me with sites like this every weekend you gonna be happier than a dog with two dicks. Im just preparing you. Work with me, help me help you yeah!
Ah Zonke.. Ah Tiger Tiger!!
The community welcomed Big Munnie” Frank to the mother city this weekend. Brother to former Bulls lock/Hulk-man Mat Frank, old Munnie sure did his best to paint the town red.(pictured right, with former chiefs soccer sensation Mark Batchelor) Apparently Munnie could make it rain if he wanted with his lazy “whats your name?” blue-eyes and massive framework. Keep the pictures rolling in fella’s.. that incldes you lads in Mud Island. (Hobbers are you still alive?)
Good Fella’s curb drunken driving
I ran an article on these good guys a few months back and have recieved a few mails from the community encouraging me to give them a bit more information.
Well here goes:
All you need to know is neatly posted on there Website: www.gfellas.co.za Thinking.. “it will never happen to me” is very dangerous people. 3 beers is considered “over the limit”, think about that, how often have you had more than 3 beers and been on the road.
If you socialise (sober or not), you face the most risk
58% of weekly fatal crashes occurred on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, of which *23,9% were on Saturdays.
40% of the daily fatalities occurred between 18:00 and midnight. (Average during 2004 – RTMC)
25,81% of the daily fatalities occurred between 18:00 and 21:00.
Heard a disturbing story about a friend that was locked away after an innocent night out. He was unsettled by the manner in which the Coppers took joy in putting handcuffs on the “bad-fella”. It was a victory for the boys in blue.
Bottom line
If you are breathalizer tested and are over the limit, you will get a locked away for the night, YOU WILL get a court hearing, YOU WILL have a hefty fine to cough up and there is a VERY GOOD change YOU WILL get a criminal record.
Be smarter than the rest, dont learn the hard way.
The memory of an Elephant
In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from college. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.
The elephant seemed distressed so Mbembe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant’s foot, and found a large thorn deeply embedded in it.
As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the thorn out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him. For several tense moments Mbembe stood frozen,
thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.
Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day. Twenty years later he was walking through a zoo with his teenaged son. As they
approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son Tapu were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe and lifted its front foot off the ground then put it down.
The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn’t help wondering if this was the same elephant. Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man’s legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him.
Probably wasn’t the same elephant.
The awkwardness of seeing an X flame
Well… is it awkward?... should it be awkwark?
Thats 2 questions and 0 answers in 2 sentences… Joey you are on a roll!!
It’s mostly physical, who we kidding. Whether you were the one who closed the chapter, or the chapter that got closed there are no real winners when “your former banker is in your space.” Brad gets uneasy around Jen, Brooke gets uneasy aroung Andre and hell I bet old Smithers gets the yips when Minkles glides effortlessly through a crowded room.. We all human folks, we all have emotions, and emotions after all are not sane, they exist & control you outside the realms of scientific or logical explanation & they cause you to do irrational things and act irrationally despite what you KNOW to be right & wrong. I said this to someone yesterday, I hope it had an impact.
Be Perfect.
Blink 182’s “Not now” lyrics
Just had this song blasting in my car compliments of my Best of Blink 182 cd, very intense stuff. A huge song. Epic. Brilliant.
Take a listen (goes something like this)
“Come here, please hold my hand, Lord, now
Help me, I’m scared please show me how
To fight this, God has a master plan
And I guess, I am in his demand
Please save me, this time I cannot run
And I’ll see, you when this is done
And now I, have come to realize
That you are, the one who’s left behind
(now everybody sing along)
Please stay untill I’m gone
I’m here hold on to me
I’m right here waiting”
Inspiration for the day
Be afraid your life will never begin.
As we grow up we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it’s harder every time.You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.You’ll fight with your best friend.
You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did.
You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you love.
So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back. Don’t be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.
Biblical stuff.
“Mushy Peas on toast” – Joey touched by journalist’s natural “flair”!!
You sitting at your desk at work, a small bout of the flu coming on.. probably a bit bored.. ja the 2oceansvibe site has’nt been updated for days… aaah what’s this you then ask yourself? Has my main man Joey found cyberlove, a companion perhaps, equally willing to “reveal all” for the benifit of those interested enough to listen. Well half right people, check this crazy blog site out, it’s really awesome.. I like the babies style. http://mushypeasontoast.blogspot.com/ Her name is Peas on toast, I doubt it’s her real name but she’s 25 and writes about (in her own words) Hook-ups, break-ups, fuck-ups and cover-ups – “I cause my own chaos”. Well before I tell you too much go take a read for yourself and lets get your thoughts on this original site.
Gazza Larson – Dead or Alive??
Indeed this man is alive and well!!! Gazza took a sabbatical from The Far Side in 1988, traveling to Africa and playing jazz. The lite panel however resumed in 1990, but by late 1994 Larson was weary of deadlines and pretty much “Gatvol” of drawing animals all day (and probably had made enough money too!) so he quit The far side for good. He still draws cartoons, but on his own schedule, not a syndicate’s. 
The Far Side appeared in almost 2,000 newspapers, and every “best of” collection has been a best-seller. Distasteful, disgusting, and delightful, The Far Side often offended those with delicate minds. Larson attributes much of his success to the caffeine in the numerous cups of coffee he drinks daily as well as the enlightening (endarkening?) time his older brother compelled him to spend in the basement as a child. He’s now 56 and lives a quiet life above ground in Seattle, Washington USA. Gaaaaaaad, I often wonder what he thinks about in his spare time.. Come on Gazza, give us one last masterpiece!!!
Write to Gary today
Gary Larson
c/o Andrews McMeel Publishing
4520 Main St.
Kansas City, MO. 64111
CAVEAU WINE BAR AND DELI - Back on Joey’s radar!!
I dont promote this great place because Im enchanted by the owners nickname, (which happens to be “Wildman” – seen in picture.) , but rather I seriously have respect for any institution that is clearly a leader in it’s expertese. When I think fine Whisky, I think Bascule Bar at the Waterfront.. why?? Simple, they boast the largest array of Whiskey brands in the Southern Hemisphere and know there stuff – fact. 
Yet when I think fine wine, and quiant atmosphere, I think.. Caveau Wine Bar and Deli situated in Heritage Square on Bree Street. I was fortunate enough to indulge in a few glasses of fine red when I decided to pop round after a stressfull day at the office. I asked for “Wildman” or “Jean” as I took a seat and in a flash “The Wildman” was enlightening me about some of the Cape’s finest wines.. so if you are in need of some good advice for a special occassion or just a gift then these guys know it all and will be delighted point you in the right direction.
There passion is built around a simple French proverb;
In water one sees one’s own face; But in wine one beholds the heart of another.
Local sure is lekker!!
Always been a big fan of local bands, from Watershed, Johnny Clegg, Seether, Prime Circle (“Maybe wrong” – What a song!!) to the likes of Kabelo, Zola, Mafikizolo, Mapaputsi and even the little man Umanji – South African music sure does kick ass!! .. Those of you not familiar, the latest Parlotones album has been getting alot of well deserved airplay of late on most decent radio stations – “Radiocontrolled Robot” is the name of their new album – truelly epic stuff, go take a listen and lets support these guys from Jozi Town..
If you enjoy indie rock and the sounds of James, radiohead and Coldplay all thrown into one band then you’ll enjoy these fella’s. Colourfull, The Impossible, Dragonflies and Astronauts and Radiocontolled Robot are all EPIC tunes and deserve a ” Joey Miller” high five!!
The Parlotones are Kahn Morbee (vocals, guitar, brilliant!!), Neil Pauw (Drums, “who’s larry Mullins?!?”), Paul Hodgson (guitar, “who’s the Edge?!?”), and Glen Hodgson (bass, piano, backing vocals, “multi-talented!!”)
... and while I’m on a roll
Enjoying the new Keane, the new Snow Patrol (You’re all I have is a massive track!), Death Cab for Cutie (“Soul meets body” and “crooked teeth” rock!) and just recently got involved with a band called The Fray , go check it out.. The song “Over my head rocks”!! Special thanks to Gareth Gammie for the introduction! .. and before I sign off, The new Goo Goo Dolls Album is as good as anything they’ve ever produced!!
Later music lovers.
Shark Attack hits Cape Town waters
A young Cape Town lifeguard had his foot bitten off by a shark during a lifesaving training exercise at Sunrise Beach on Sunday as he battled to fight off what is believed to be a Great White Shark. While shark specialists appealed for calm yesterday, asking that the incident be referred to as a “shark encounter”, not an attack, his younger brother, Taariq, 17, who was in the water with Achmat, described it as an attack, saying that the shark had returned to ram their boat.
His is a tale of two brothers, both trained lifeguards from False Bay Lifesaving and both passionate about the sea, who both took action during the attack to save each other.
Taariq, a matric pupil at Bergvliet High, and Achmat, a correspondence marketing student, were behind the breakers, about 200m offshore from Sunrise Beach, Muizenberg, about 10.45am, when the incident occurred. The water was clear and about 2-3m deep.
Joey’s comments: “Hectic stuff!!”
The Flaming Lips – “Do you realise?”
Do you realize, that you have the most beautiful face?
Do you realize, we’re floating in space?
Do you realize, that happiness makes you cry?
Do you realize, that everyone you know someday will die? – and instead of saying all of your goodbyes.. let them know
you realize that life goes fast and
It’s hard to make the good things last,
you realize the sun doesn’t go down, It’s just an illusion caused by the world spinning round.
Biblical stuff.
Ah Zonke!!!
With summer just around the corner, its time to reflect on the good times that lie ahead. Weekends basking on the beach, the smell of freshly cut grass, La Med and Caprice on Sundays and yes, another Nadoes victory under the belt. Was sent in this snap yesterday, some Nadoes of old indulging in some fish and chips at the ever popular Fisherman’s Wharf. Definately worth a visit for a sneaky Sunday lunch. Simple pleasures I tell you folks, simple pleasures.
Bring back Andre Pretorius please Jake!
Dear Jake the snake,
Do you mind telling Butch that Andre is now going to be playing in the number 10 Jersey for the remainder of the season? The Lions game against the Bulls this weekend proved that Pretiorius is fit and ready for the big time again. The highly rated Morne Steyn was clealy rattled by Pretorius’s superiority having to leave the field early in the second half as a result of his failure to rise to the occassion. I would like to see the following backline: 9. Pienaar,10. Pretuorius, 11. Habana, 12. De Villiers, 13. Fourie,
14. Ndungane, 15. Percy (But we need a SERIOUS replacement very soon!)
Just my pipe dream backline, Fourie will probably start at 9. And come on Jake, give Luke a whirl, I’ll even throw you some comm!!
Zidane back in the news
French soccer star Zizou Zidane was recently caught on camera by an amature photographer headbutting his car when it failed to start. Amusing stuff this, but…. why does he do this, why does he get so angry.. is there something he’s not telling us?
A concerned Joey
Do blondes really have more fun??
Argentine, Pamela David made the backpage of the Sunday Times, she made the front page of my column, so shoot me.
Was at a club this weekend and put forward the ultimate of questions to a young las who was clearly oblivious to the fact that she was being spoken to by I, Joey Miller. I asked her something she did’nt want to hear.. I could just tell by her body language, indeed she could read my mind and was clearly dreading the question … but before she could make a break I threw it at her… full on.. like a skip pass to the winger, with nothing but the fullback to beat.. I said to her, “Hey baby, tell me… do blondes really have more fun?” and then I stood back. She was once blonde she admitted.. but life had got a little less exciting since the conversion to brunette.. she continued.. I listened carefully… “You know I now get far less crubby pinches on the ass by stray guys, its like I dont look like a bimbo anymore or something”. I chuckled, her words now competing with the blarring sound from the massive speakers to our left, her lips moved in slow motion, I thought to myself there and then… Gaaaad, brunette’s just seem to carry themselves better, they blend in..in a fun “Joey Miller” sort of way. So without knowing it I had answered my question, and at that I turned around and told a complete stranger that I liked the sound of this new Nelly track. She was a red head – confused, I left the club.
Oh GAAAAAAAD!!!!!
Ex Nadoe player, Andrew Pletzer walked away with a cool R250k this week past at Discovery’s Sales Marketing conference. Tickets were allocated as per your production and drawn out Lotto style. If you think the man was lucky you will be saddened to hear that he was one number short of winning the other R250k.
Congrats Plep!! You deserve it my boy. Recently engaged to the beautiful Victoria Mills. He needs it more than any other Nadoe.
Get this man to buy your lotto tickets!!
U Cha Cha
COME ON SUMMER - Joey’s winning formula revealed!!!!
After 2 months abroad in the Tropics I have come up with a winning formula on finding the right dame. It has not been a small project. Here are my 8 golden rules. (Sit back, relax and let you eyes work there magic)
[1] South African Only – Good salt of the earth babies who speak english, understand why our minds work the way they do and who let us drink more than we should without batting an eyelid.. because lets face it people – us SAFFA men are a RARE bunch, hell (Joey pulling his shoulders back, puffing his chest out) – the world just would not be the same place without us!!. Foreigners just cause admin … “They will want to live wherever their mother’s are”. Moral – don’t go out with English chicks, Aussies, Kiwi’s, Russians or Yanks. Big Red Flag folks.
[2] Minimum age 23 – By this stage, our SAFFA babies have done most of what they have wanted. They are looking for something serious,something manly… as their bio clocks are just starting to tick. (Joey giving a naughty grin)
[3] Maximum Age 30 – Babies over this age are looking to get hitched asap. They will therefore take anything they can get their grubby mits on. Beware. For evidence look at internet dating sites – all chicks here are 29 / 30 and desperate. (Did I say dating sites?!!)
[4] Career Group – PA’s, Teachers, Physio’s etc – Down to Earth babies who can watch rugger with the boys – Be careful of chicks who are too career motivated (C.A’s, Lawyers, Corporate babies) – They tend to be too self absorbed to notice anyone or thing thats going on around them!)
[5] No Go’s – Chavs, Feminists, Chicks with fat mothers, big ankles (unless you want telly tubby kids) or that are generally dirty.
(cleanliness- look at how tidy a baby keeps her room – a messy room is not a good sign boys and I think you know what I mean), dragon tatoos on their lower backs also a huge red flag. woooooooooah
[6] Similar backgrounds and beliefs – At the end of the day, you cannot relate to a Chav or a little princess who’s daddy has given her everything and that’s final. (Joey looking angry as he types with aggresion)
[7] Attraction – The woman does not have to be a supermodel, but you must get butterflies! (Joey smiling again)
[8] Good with children – This is a good sign and shows that she will be a good mother to our daughters!! hahahaha.
If you do not agree with any of the points, then forward me your comments.
Look forward to hearing from you.
Zinedane Zi-what have I done?
The amazing Zinedine Zidane, career came to a sad end when he was allegedly called a “dirty terrorist” my Itailian Marco Materazzi proceeding in a head-butt not seen since… well since… shit never seen anything quite like it!! This was the word from anti-racism group SOS. Zidane was also named player of the tournament.