This weeks personality: Jonathan Snaith
Joey: “So Jono you gonna join me for a shmoke and a pancake??”
Jono: “Listen Joey is this interview for real, I mean seriously… I know people in high places!” (Jono flexing)
Joey: “Well… you’ve driven a fair way to get here.. how the hell are you man… it’s been a while since we chatted via satelite at the Nadoes formal.. you and Duane still friends after he pipped you at the post in the dating game?”
Jono: “Sure, we talk every so often… it was a bitter pill to swallow Joey, I honestly thought I had the title wrapped up that night… not only did I let MYSELF down, but I also feel I let my date down.. she wanted a winner that night, I was’nt him” (Jono chewing on the side of his mouth, eyes fixated on thin air )
Joey: “haha!! (Joey streching his arms) ... dont take it so harsh kid, we all pull a few boners once in a while.. as old Naas Botha once said… Cowboys dont cry” (joey putting on an afrikaans accent for effect)
Joey: “Oooh oooh and that reminds me, whilst we are on the topic of cows, it’s believed you grew up on a cattle farm… and now living just outside the Cape flats training horses… apart from the power failures and lack of hot water, life treating you well out there?”
Jono: “I love the horses Joey… ever since I drove over one when I was a kid (Jono emotionless, jaw locked).. just that smell of leather.. the crack of the whip .. and MAN ALIVE.. that loudspeaker on Met Day.. it’s the life, I love it.. god I get goose bumps Joey?”
Joey “Yes, ok ok that’s enough… I enjoy the horses myself, you show raw
passion.. actually been taking a few punts of my own of late.. lost some big cash on kiss and fly at the weekend.. also been keeping a close eye on Gulf Trade, I think it’s a gem.. you’ve got a good horse there kid”
Jono: (Jono’s ears prick up)
Jono “We train winners Joey, that’s what we do at Snaith Racing ”
Joey: “Well fair enough, everyone loves a winner I guess..”
Jono: (Suddenly getting up, leaves our table to say hello to a group of young girls dressed in uniform)
Joey: (Feeling uneasy, it’s now apparent they’re school girls)
Jono: (Eventually returns to the table.. giggling noises in the background)
Joey: “Hmm, you know em kids?” (Joey scrapping the last bits of sugar off his plate with a small piece of pancake)
Jono: “Nah, just friends” (Big grin)
Joey: (Joey yawns)
Joey: “So tell me now, you clearly a busy guy, you gonna be doing the Argus this weekend?” (Joey seriously battling to concentrate)
Jono: “Not for me Joey, to be honest I have never ridden a bike before.. I’m more into hiking and stuff, there some great routes up table mountain which I like doing on weekends.. keeps me out of mischief my mates tell me”
Joey: “Oh yes?” (Joey rolling his neck looking at the ceiling)
Joey: “Well I often take ladies up the mountain, it’s great fun… anything can happen up there”
Joey: (Joey yawns, concentration gone )
Joey: “Well listen kid, I gotta run…. you said you were meeting someone here so sure we will chat soon”
Jono: “Yeah….. yeah well thanks Joey, thanks for your time, I love you Joey”
Joey: (Scampers out of Nino’s , the rain gently falling… who next joey thinks out loud…that was exhausting…. GAAAAAAAAD, was that guy for REAL!!”
Email Joey if you have any mates whack enough for a shmoke and a pancake interview
Question: Which Nadoe is currently dating “Epic Summer”??
For a clue: click here
Friday’s “Shmoke and a pancake” with Joey Miller
Yes folks, I have introduced a refreshingly new addition to my Friday entertainment. Just for my beloved fans, each and every week I will knuckle down with a different personality, famous or not (Vaalies included) and get to the heart and soul of what makes them tick..
This weeks personality: Robbie Fleck
Joey: “So Rob you gonna join me for a shmoke and a pancake??”
Fleckie: “Damn right Joey, and hey china, call me Fleckie”
Joey: “No prob Rob, Fleckie from now on… jeez like, that pancake got enough syrup!!” (Joey pointing at Fleckie’s plate with his spoon)
Fleckie: “You joke Joey, the boys back in Bath call me “Big Joe Pesci” , a big joke in the changeroom after a game, I got this little waggle I do with the towel and all..”
Joey: “haha …amusing stuff..well lets leave it at that then (Joey takes a bite of his pancake)...so tell me Fleckster you still coaching the lads at UCT?”
Fleckie: “Sure am Joey, some real talent out there, I show the boys the odd backline movement, If I can lend a hand in developing the youngsters than I’m all for it. I tell you what, there is alot of untapped talent out there Joey..”
Joey: “I bet there is Fleckels, I bet there is.. I’ve been dying to ask… are you gonna try out for the Nadoes this year, talk has been doing the rounds… so what you say, you keen to don the red and black alongside old Duane “The Aviator” Viljoen and the boys?”
Fleckie “You know Joey, these boys from the Nadoes seem to have that indescribable x factor.. you cant just buy that sorta stuff at the grocery store Joey, it takes a few special people to bring life and spirit to an average team.. I look back at our ‘97 Bok side (Fleckie’s eyes watering ever so slightly)... hell who am I kidding… I would love a run … although I may look like a midgit next to ‘Ol “Tank” Viljoen, I’m as keen as syrup Joey (Fleckie, ironically licking his fingers)
Joey: ”..and Bishops, you sometimes wish you were a Bosch lad like most of ‘em Nadoes laddy’s?”
Fleckie (Huge smile, dimples clearly evident)
Joey: “Well?”
Fleckie I’m a proud Bishops boy, hell Basil was like a father to me, how can I have regrets.. ” (Fleckie asks the waiter for another pancake)
Joey: (Joey looking at Fleckie’s stomach)
Joey: ” ..and life in Kommetjie, you living it up in your dream home… must make a great change from living in Bath?”
Fleckie: “Joey I love it out there, the beach, the seagulls, collecting shells and stuff.. life is good, I’m very thankfull!”
Joey: “Fleckie you’re a good kid, you deserve it…give the boys a shout sometime.. I’m sure they will consider it an honour to have you on board for a few games, and that changeroom after the match…it will rival any you have been in… THAT I can vouch for”
Fleckie: ” Well lightening may strike Joey, love your work, just gonna swallow this last pancake down, meeting the wife at Cavendish” (Fleckie tapping the face of his rolex)
Joey: “Fair enough, run along champ… once again, thanks for your time..” (Joey waving at Fleckie as he jogs off into the distance)
Joey: (Joey , eyes fixed and motionless, has visions of Fleckie “zigzaging” his way through an All Black backline to score under the poles.. a car hoots, the thought is broken, Joey must move on.)
Email Joey if you have any mates whack enough for a shmoke and a pancake interview
Eggie Cup to stay in Joburg
After claiming back the Eggie cup from Gavin Welsh in December, bosch old boy, Pitie Nelson unfortunately failed in his attemp to bring home this coverted trophy . In a game where club selections prooved pivotel, and where altitude clearly had it’s part to play, Brian Versveld (pictued right enjoying a Windhoek) managed to hold his nerve and lives another day as the undisputed Eggie cup supremo.
These 3 gladiators of golf will live another day in the knowledge that the cup is only a challenge match away. Next match up: Welsh takes on Versfeld at JCC. Watch the press for details…
The Legacy of the Westbourne Boys
Sent in late last night:
“Who exactly are they, who trained them… why were they sent to us… was it all just a dream?”
These and others questions remain unanswered.. if you have any idea who these “boys” are and what the email sent to me is all about please forward me your thoughts as soon as possible. It’s killing me.
Regards,
A concerned Joey Miller
Friday’s “Shmoke and a pancake” with Joey Miller
Yes folks, I have introduced a refreshingly new addition to my Friday entertainment. Just for my beloved fans, each and every week I will knuckle down with a different personality, famous or not (Vaalies included) and get to the heart and soul of what makes them tick..
This weeks personality: Miss Tanit Phoenix
Joey: “So Tanit you gonna join me for a shmoke and a pancake??”
Tanit: “I’m thinking more the lines of just a smoke if that’s ok.. you mind if I get a bowl of milk for my pup?”
Joey: “Go crazy baby, how old is the little guy?”
Tanit: “He’s 6 months on Sunday Joey… I love him, wish all men were this loving and uncomplicated”
Joey: “haha (Joey stroking the pup) ... well good to finally meet, whats been happening, you been a busy girl?”
Tanit: “Sure, the season never ends Joey.. it’s a week here, a week there, gets a bit much but hey, ooooh oooooh, nearly forgot, check this.. brougt them along to show you, they are my flame throwers..
Joey: “Wooooh… easy tiger, yeah pretty cool.. been seeing you throwing them around a bit, hectic shit.. you seem pretty talented.. but tell me, what was all that stuff about you being phtographed on the beach displaying your “modesty”?
Tanit “You know Joey, that was such a load of bullsh*t, (Joey looking at Tanit’s beasts) , Im not shy about my body – at all (Tanit leaning over stealing a slice of my pancake).. but for someone to get me on camera whilst I’m on the beach with my friends is just low… seriously if they want to see naked girls why dont they just surf for porn on the net! ...there is plenty sh*t there.. lesbo stuff too!” (Tanit winking at me as she licks the sugar off her fingers from her pancake)
Joey: “Hmm Hmm (Joey on unfamiliar teritory and not sure where to look) ha ha, I bet there is Tan, I ….BET there is. And our swimmer dude, old “Roland”, you actually go out with the guy or that just for publicity?”
Tanit (Rolling her eyes)
Joey: “Well?”
Tanit (now holding her puppy up and letting it lick her lips)
Joey: (Joey’s imagination running wild)
Tanit: “Oh… he’s just a little boy, I never had feelings for him, we kissed like once then next thing we’re going out and gonna get married and have children and have kids and…”
Joey: “Woooooooh, Ok CUT!!”
Joey: “Tanit baby, it’s been real, thanks for your time, keep the naughty emails flowing and I’ll catch you on the beach sometime!”
Tanit: ” My pleasure Joey, see you around handsome!”
Email Joey if you have any mates whack enough for a shmoke and a pancake interview
Joey salutes Johnny Clegg
What a concert!! I’m learning Zulu starting today and I’m buying a cheap guitar and gumboots.. that man has some serious talent, if you made it to Kirstenbosch this Saturday eve then I’m sure you’ll share my sentiments. Joey gives Johnny a big thumbs up!
Quiz question: What is the relevance of Johnny’s first band, named “Juluka”?
Great website worth a look at!!
Josh is a personal favorate and I’ve been checking out his wacky items for quite a while now, hang even ordered the odd item which arrived from the states within 5 days.. crazy stuff!! From the latest gadgets to the latest alternative fashion be sure to check it out..
Stormers squander win as Cats come back from the dead
I’m gonna have to make an early call and point my right index finger directly at the Sharks when it comes to the side dropping out of next years Super 14 competition. The once “powerhouse” of S.A rugby are now just The feeble fifteen, with no hope at all of finishing in the top 10 on the log. Rassie has too much up his sleeve to let his Cheetah’s down, they could spring the odd surprise. My punt of S.A teams in rank this Super 14 goes as follows. 1. Bulls 2. Cats 3. Cheetha’s 4. Stormers 5. Sharks
Is there a trophy the Bloem Boere cannot win of late? Currie Cup Champs last year, swept the trophies on the cricket field and yesterday gained another in the 20/20… on that note why the h*ll was A.P (Andrew Puttick) left out of yesterday’s final may I ask with tears running down my cheeks.. Gibbs is a prankster at the crease.
Friday’s “Shmoke and a pancake” with Joey Miller
Yes folks, I have introduced a refreshingly new addition to my Friday entertainment. Just for my beloved fans, each and every week I will knuckle down with a different personality, famous or not (Vaalies included) and get to the heart and soul out what makes them tick.
This weeks personality: Graeme Smith
Joey: “Graeme you gonna join me for a shmoke and a pancake??”
Graeme: “Yes why not Joey, Micky’s not here, lets go crazy!!”
Joey: “Thanks for making it kid, a K.E.S lad through and through, tell me something, you mind if I call you Smithers?”
Graeme: “Sure, the lads all call me Smithers, some of them have a few amusing knicknames for me but lets save that for after the interview (hearty laugh)”
Joey: “Ok Smithers it’ll be… good to be back?”
Graeme: You know Joey, It’s great, It’s been wonderfull having a support base. We truely copped a lot of flack out there, if we thought the cricket was gonna be tough we never knew how much of a tough time the media and spectators were gonna throw our way”
Joey: “Hmm yes, a wild bunch them Aussies, the Sheila’s are no push over either from my experience down under, you get lucky out there Smithers?”
Graeme: (Shy grin)
Joey: “Well?”
Graeme: (blowing bubbles with his chewing gum)
Joey: “Well anyway, how is old Minks, you kids still an item?”
Grame: “Joey, love is a crazy thing.. Sometimes I wish I could just run away with Minks to a tropical Island and play beach bats all day!”
Joey: “Touche’- I’m sure you must feel the heat, afterall you have the hopes of a nation on your shoulders.. Tell me Kid, you think we can beat these Aussies on home soil, I mean come now Graeme, get real with Joey!”
Graeme: “You know I really do Joey, home ground advatange is massive in the modern game, the boys are all with there families and the spectators are behind us, if we just stick to the task we’ll come out tops”
Joey: “Tell me Smithers, whats with the gum? You look like a right yobbo!” (playfully punching Graeme in the chest)
Graeme: “I’m sponsored by chappies Joey, I hate the damn stuff, but I gotta do it… worst thing is that I signed a 10 year contract.. I have sleepless nights.. My jaw is a mess”
Joey: “ok, ok more than I needed to know, well thanks for your time Smithers, good luck out there, rather you than me.. but hell, send Minks my wishes and I’ll get the Nadoes family behind you this summer.. Make us proud!”
Graeme: “Will do our best, love your work Joey, sh*t sakes – we all do!”
Email Joey if you have any mates whack enough for a shmoke and a pancake interview
Johnny Kwed toy toy-ing at Kirstenbosch this Saturday
South Africa’s favourate son, Johnny Kwed is once again doing his stuff under African skies, tunes such as December Afrrican Rain, Impi, Scatterlings of Africa and Great heart to name a few will ring loud at the botanical gardens at Kirstenbosch come Saturday eve..
Johnny was believe it not folks born in England in the 1950s, his family moved to Africa where he grew up first in Zimbabwe and Zambia, and later in South Africa. A chance encounter with a Zulu street guitarist led him to Zulu culture were he became so caught up that he was eventually made an adopted son of a Zulu chief..
Hail Johnny, Hail the great man!!
He is an national icon and on our doorstep on Saturday eve (8pm) so lets get out and support our boy..
Can the cricket boks compete with rampant Aussies on home soil?
This was sent in last night by a concerned cricket and Nadoes fan:
Joey, shed some light on the matter, I’m an eternal optimist, I like to win, very much so Joey. I’ve supported the boks since I learnt to walk but I have to reveal the following to the Nadoes family: We have f*cking less than zero chance of pulling of a home series victory in any form of the game when the Aussie’s arrive. Infact I am willing to say that the Aussies would conquer the boks with a mere 9 players (in tests)and my take on one day internationals is that if they were limited to only 40 overs, they would still beat us comfortably on most occasions. Bold words indeed Joey but I need someone to tell me I’m wrong, I need hope Joey, damn who’s gonna save us from embarrasing defeat?? I’ve had enough!!
Joey’s take on the matter:
Kid you sound like you’re a mess, let me calm you down for a second. Yes yes we can beat ‘em alright, we need bowlers to perform though, we need Ntini and Nel to breathe flames at the Aussie batsmen. We need our top order batsmen to take on Warne, if we get ontop of Warne, we’ll break them down one by one… So lets support the boys, yes lets support Smithy and the boys.
“Is this Fletch?” Competition
Stu Fletcher, better known for accepting a sponsored flight to Cape Town via my “Lets Get Fletch” campaign has once again popped his blonde little head up in his hometown of Bloemfontein… well as it seems. This picture of Stu was sent in yesterday by a follower and I am still working on the image to deduce whether infact it has been illegaly modified or not. Fletch as the email goes, enjoys wearing tight tops, spending K on beautifull babies, and wooh-ing his ladies in his voyager space machine was unfortunately not available for comment on the mystery picture.
Haircut of the year!!
Well I’ve been itching to post this for a while now, Sent in by one of my female fans, a hat, a hairstyle, what more can one do with their mop this summer??
The Eggie Cup moves to Johannesburg
After Pietie Nelson held his composure and took honours in December to win a closely fought dual at Royal Cape Golfclub, Brian Versveld is now the new acclaimed holder of Cape Town’s biggest, yet smallest golf trophy – The Eggie Cup. What the hell is the eggie Cup you may rightly ask, well apparently it means the world to 3 golfers out there who asked me to let the fans in on the latest. Watch this space…
The 7 Foot beast from the East
This Russian kid is for real, the biggest name to hit the boxing world since Tyson floored Trevor Berbick nearly 20 years ago to become world heavyweight champion of the world. (He’s BeeeeeeG!!) Where has he been hiding at the age of 32 you may ask, well he goes by the name of Nikoli Valuez and he means some serious business.. Already the WBA heavyweight champion of the world and undefeated in 44 fights ( 31 knockouts) And incase you think this picture has been tweaked, or perhaps was something out of a Rocky 7 Movie then you are wrong, what you see is what you get with the Beast from the East he’s BeeeeeeeeeeG!!! he’s very BeeeeeeeG
Not to get too worked up ( he’s BeeeeeeG!!) but I could’nt quite believe it myself when I read that the 7 foot tall “Beast” weighs in at a massive 150kg’s,... it’s rumoured that his mates call him “big dude”.. yes folks imagine this bus starting a bar fight…imagine him scruming down at no.8…. gaad imagine him chatting up your baby at the bar, what the f*ck you gonna do about it? Answer: Bow down to the beast.
A big Joey Miller shout out to the beast from the east!!
Email Joey your thoughts on The beast, maybe you have some beastlike mates that deserve a mention
Robbie’s double spotted this weekend!!
Well I decided to take the baby out for a glass of Red on Friday night and from absolutely nowhere appeared this dude in a red T shirt that I could have sworn was Robbie Williams.. His hair was even shmoosed in the same direction – gaad it looked whack!. I panicked, I left my romantic candlelite table where my baby was seated and scampered off down the Camps bay promenade after “Robbie”. Peolpe were staring, he was quiiiiik, I saw him in the distance, I could feel I was closing on him. I wanted him, I had to speak to him, my camera was ready.. poised, I just needed that one shot. click, I got it! but in a flash he jumped into a anonymous taxi, looking back at me as if he knew I had been after him.. the look on his face said it all..my camera dangling at my knees, I was a mess.
Jessica – She really needs us right now
My sexy Jessie has been through a tough time lately after her recent divorce to ex-husband Nick Lachey. Dubbed the “couple made in heaven” until our hero Nick was caught with his hand in someone else’s till. As a gesture from us decent folk, I thought it only fair to throw Jessie on my column and make her an intergral part of play till the end of summer ‘06. Be sure, winter will bring us a new, fresh faced beauty. On the otherhand Paris Hilton and her locker dilema could have made news but we’ll leave the infatuations with Seth, gaaad, he clearly has a week spot for her.. (or her soft spot). So ladies and Gentelman please welcome Joey’s Jessie, and lets make her feel welcome, she needs a close family right now. u cha cha from the Nadoes family!!
Friday’s “Shmoke and a pancake” with Joey Miller
This weeks personality: Steve Hole
Joey: “Steve you gonna join me for a shmoke and a pancake??”
Steve: “No thanks Joey, I’ll stick to the healthy alternative, get me a muffin.”
Joey: “Thanks for making it kid, tell me something, I recognise you for somewhere”
Steve: “Jeepers Joey, I was on the Joey Miller dating game for f#ck sakes!”
Joey: “Yes, yes, yes thats where I recognise you- sorry kid”
Joey: “Ok ok, So what do you do Steve?”
Steve: “Joey firstly let me just say that Im real honoured to have cracked the nod onto your popular column. I felt I should have hung around longer on the dating game last year but such is life, im over it. Joey, getting back to your question, I am studying at U.C.T currently and doing this conversion course in an attempt to become a qualified bean counter, I’ve been at classes for a month now.. it’s been hectic but I’ve met some nice people and it’s all going well!”
Joey: “Nice Steve, I like that! If you dont mind me asking, you get much time for the ladies?”
Steve: “Not at all Joey, ha ha ha… of course I do, there’s always time for sneaky coffee with opposite sex”
Joey: “They tell me you’re from the Eastern Cape, a Queens College lad, does this in any way slant your preference for Eastern Cape ladies?”
Steve: (Naughty grin)
Joey: “Well?”
Steve: (Naughty grin accompanied with laughter)
Joey: “Ok then, moving on…”
Joey: “Steve we are running short of time, do you have any advice for the folks out there, some pearls of wisdom that will get them through the day?”
Steve: “Joey for me it’s simple, I play hard, I work hard, I eat well, but at the end of the day it’s all about being from the Eastern Cape. God I love that place, god I’m gonna settle there one day, I can picture it already… my two kids running around the garden, the dog chewing on a bone and my special someone stroking my hair”
Joey: “um… er, heavy stuff.. thanks for your time Stevo”
Email Joey if you have any mates whack enough for a shmoke and a pancake interview
Players ( Our Trotty!! ) plagued by injuries in ‘haunted home
Wellington, New Zealand – Five first-class cricketers sharing an allegedly haunted house in New Zealand South Island city of Dunedin have been hit by a “spooky” run of injuries since taking up residence in the former home for the terminally ill.
Otago provincial representatives Greg Todd, Aaron Redmond, James McMillan, Neil Broom and South African Jonathan Trott have all suffered injuries while living in the former hospice, now converted into a five-bedroom town house.
Todd dislocated his right knee and broke his leg in a freak bowling accident, Redmond dislocated his knee taking a catch while McMillan, Broom and Trott suffered serious muscle strains in a two-week period which left the five players laid up simultaneously.
Joey’s take on the haunted house: “Well well well, freaky stuff I say, Trotty you’re a big kid now, just watch out for them spooksters!!”
Joey Humour: If you are going to cheat, be noble, may just pay off!!
A married man was having an affair
with his secretary.
One day they went to her placeand made love all afternoon.
Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed
and told his lover to take his shoes
outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.He put on his shoes and drove home.
“Where have you been?” his wife demanded.
“I can’t lie to you,” he replied,
“I’m having an affair with my secretary.
We had sex all afternoon.”
She looked down at his shoes and said:
“You lying bastard!
YOU’VE BEEN PLAYING GOLF!!”
Let Joey’s disciples teeeeeach you!!
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Joey’s take on the website:
Well folks first some background: I met up with a few good men last night at the famous Caveau Wine and Deli Bar on Heritage Square (Yes, Joey’s no.1 good times venue this season) and just before calling it a night, Caveau’s henchman and co-owner The Wildman introduced me to this smooth cat who asked me to punt his funky/revolutionary website dubbed www.pullingchicks.com on my column – I had natuarally had a few glasses of Waterford’s finest so openly obliged prompting him further, thinking quietly to myself.. what the hell, lets give this kid a chance.. it’ll bode well for the community. I must be frank, the kid had me mesmorised for a good 20 minutes as he chatted about his fine creation and all it offers.. At the same time I wondered into thought about all them mates out there that battle with the babies week in and week out.. yes your regular Joe Soap’s who fold at the site of a female being. Subscribe folks, check it out, go crazy, knock yourself out – this could be the breakthru you’ve been waiting for!
Email Joey your thoughts and I'll post them
Sing along with Joey
Chorus: There she was, justa walkin down the street singing….. “Do-what-Joey did-to-mommy-to-get-me” (X2)
Surely not…. WHAT THE….huh?...... oh…. oh… oh my GAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!
Zoo-Cape-Lander??
Cape Town’s very own Zoolander has a little something for everyone this season, yes this tiny little pocket pooper is full of beans and has a sense of humour like no other. Be sure to check out some of the video clips that he’ll be throwing our way this festive season, and hell if you see him out and about give him a little nudge ( not too hard! ) and tell him you spotted him on the Joey column.. I remind you, he’s a very, very funny little man!! Email Joey
Lunger or smooth operator?
You gotta love his style. Swift yet calculated. A guidline for all you late night lungers out there. Better a lunger than I mouse a tell you.
A future Joey Miler baby? This lovely las is vying to make my elite right hand column .. Lots of pictures sent in have threatened, but none have raised my eyebrows enough to make the cut. Come on ladies, I know you got plenty pics out there, throw Joey a bone!
Fellatio may significantly
decrease the risk of breast cancer in
women – Sent in my Mr. Michael Hughes.
Monday, Febuary 6, 2006 Posted: 9:19 AM EDT (1319 GMT)
Women who perform the
act of fellatio and swallow semen
on a regular basis, one to two
times a week, may reduce their
risk of breast cancer by up to 40
percent, a North Carolina State
University study found.
The reasearch consisted of two groups, 6,246 women ages 25 to 45 who had
performed fellatio and swallowed on a regular basis over the past five to ten years,
and 9,728 women who had not or did not swallow. The group of women who had
performed and swallowed had a breast cancer rate of 1.9 percent and the group who
had not had a breast cancer rate of 10.4 percent.
“The findings do suggest that there are other causes for breast cancer besides the
absence of regular fellatio,” Shafteer said. “It’s a cause, not THE cause.”
Copyright 2003 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not
be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
Thank you for the insight Michael!
MEET STEVEN WRIGHT
I introduce to you an absolute nut, his off the wall humour has propelled him to debut on this week’s Joey Miller column. Steven had the following to say:
1. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
2. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
3. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
4. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
5. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.
6. Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
7. Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
8. I intend to live forever – so far, so good.
9. Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
10. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Joey teachings:
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in
waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht
the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the
huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a
wlohe.
celver sfutf.
The mean machine:
oh Yes folks, I managed to get quite a few email answers in for the mean machine competition ...strangely enough, some people never had a clue who the hell the mean machine were, others thought the mean machine were the “originators of rape in the early 80’s” ( Jono Snaith ) chuckle chuckle…As I regather my composure, let me just tell you folks that The mean machine were a formidable collection of super heroes/ cricketers that would have had the beating of any international side of its day. A South African provincial team of prolific talent!! Brace yourselves…
1. Jimmy Cook
2. Henry Fotheringham
3. Alvin Kallicheran
4. Graeme Pollock
5. Kevin MacKenzie
6. Clive Rice
7. Ray Jennings
8. Alan Kourie
9. Spook Hanley
10. Vince vd Byl
11. Slyvester Clarke
Congratulations Alan Solomon, your Mountain bike is on it’s way!!!
Sent in by Miss Anna Robertson..
...here’s a BIG-UP to the notion that some men are born pillow biters – touche’
THERE’S MORE…
Be sure to pack your lady friend one of these cheeky little todgers as a surprise going away present, who knows, for those unlucky guys out there, she may not want you back?!
This beaut was seen doing his stuff on the versatile Clifton 3 on Saturday whilst we were all lapping up MET DAY.. Hmmmm those are’nt positive.
BEFORE MARRIAGE - ELEGANT AND IN FULL CRY!!
AFTER MARRIAGE - THE REALITY DAWNS
Keep the mails flowing good people: Email Joey
29th January 2006 – The Met aftermath
Ok ok so my premonition was incorrect, African Appeal is a donkey. Enough about that. What a day! The infamous Fletch was man of the match and yes, I lost some K, my punters had an off day. (or should I say, Seth Perreira had a bad day, Sarge I should have listened to you kid) The Nadoes tent was going nuts, clearly the hotspot. How the boys organized that position is beyond me. I thought the Caprice tent was more like a green house than a vibey party place, but nevertheless David deserves a special thank you for putting on a good party even though the booze ran out at 8pm. My mate was just telling me this morning that for us Captonian folks the Met serves as a sequel to New years – kid, I could’nt agree more!
Just released Joey Miller Magic vol.2 – A limited edition collection of happening tunes, Joey Style. Just send me some funny shit and if I decide to post it then I’ll flip you a disc. Just include your postal address.
A bit random but I read Bok flyhalf Andre Pretorius was charged for drunk-driving late Saturday night after he pranged into some dude’s car AND THEN to make matters worse he was further fined for his haircut. Well, hopefully this is not all too serious, we need that man at no.10. Please god.
Question: Who were the mean machine?
Clue: There are 11 answers.
First 10 correct answers wins a mountain bike.
Your Property News Guru:
Clearly the party is over for home sellers. Just read in a survey that for the first time since the start of the residential boom, more than 50% of home sellers are now failing to get there asking price! H-E-Ctic! Location, location, location people.
Amusing website:
www.netdiaster.com Check it out for a bit of fun.
“I HAD A DREAM” – By Joey Miller
I was tossing and turning last night at about 2am..ok maybe it was a little later and yes ok maybe I went to bed paging through the official programme lineup for Saturday’s big Race.. I dreamt of bright lights, people dancing, pink flamingoes lunging and yes a certain horse blazing through the field to take honours and win the J&B Met!!! AFRICAN APPEAL – yes folks Joey will throw a few hundy at this young 4 year old colt ridden by the gritty Gerrit Schlechter. It’s a punt so why not do the same.
STUART FLETCHER IS JETTING TO THE MET!!!!!
With the Met only a few days away it’s come as a magic surprise that the LETS GET FLETCH campaign ended in a roaring success. Yes oh yes, a few special people deserve all the credit for getting this prodigal out of Bloem and to Cape Town all expenses paid!! You know who you are and Joey will salute you personally on Race Day with a Joey Miller hand shake
But first FLETCHERS reaction to the tearfull news:
Joey: “Stuart is that you?”
Stuart: “Who the fu*k is this”
Joey: “Stu this is Joey Miller, I have some news for you kid”
Stuart: “Joey you biscuit, how the hell are you?”
Joey: “All good, listen kid, I’ll cut to the chase, pack your bags, you’re coming to the Met!!!!!!!”
Stuart: (Silence)
Joey: “Stuart are you there?”
Stuart: “Oh gaaaaaaaaaaaaaad, oh…..oh…. oh gaaaaaaaaaaaad, I LOVE YOU JOEY!!!!!!!”
Joey: “Sure thing kid, will forward you the details”
Folks be sure to visit the Nadoes tent to bare witness to this Special man from Bloem.
After much delay, I present to you my side-kick for the new season – Mr. Bonjo Drake !!!
The much anticipated Snake Files, presented by Bonjo Drake are soon to be unleashed onto Nadoes.com. The column is currently in the research and development stage and the official launch is to take place at the Cape Town Convention Centre on February 8 2006. If you would like to book tickets to this massive event contact Chelsea Manhattan who is handling all ticket sales.Snake Files Armani jackets are also on sale @ R12050 (excl. VAT).
((((((LETS GET FLETCH!!!)))))) – Every penny counts!!!
Banking confusions coupled with general mishaps due to the sickness of a close friend have paved the way for a certain Mr. Stu Fletcher to hesitantly write to my very self pleading for financial aid in allowing him to play an intergral value added part at this years 2006 J&B Met. We need to join hands and get a paltry R2000 together ASAP in order to allow this man the opportunity to fly to Cape Town from Bloemfontein and entertain us in the famous Nadoes marque (very much like he did last year!) “He’ll add value” was what one of our regular readers pin pointed. I dont personaly know the chap but this sounds like a bit of fun so what the hell ((((((LETS GET FLETCH))))))) R2000 will cover his *air ticket and food. Donations will be made public and result in a complimentary vintage bottle of Joey Miller lager. Email Joey if you want to be part of the fun! Lets make this happen!
(((((LETS GET FLETCH ))))) Every Penny counts!!!
Joey’s top 10 for 2005
After looking back at an epic year that involved far more hignh’s than lows I have decided to sum up what I consider to be the market leaders in there relevant fields. Dont fight it, it’s all the truth.
No.1 South African Holiday destination: Kenton on Sea
No.1 Song: “Mr Brightside” – The Killers
No.1 Cape Town beach: Clifton 2nd
No.1 Cape Town Club: Hemisphere
No.1 Cape Town Restraunt: Caveau wine and Deli Bar
No.1 Movie: Wedding Crashers
No.1 Quote for 2005: ” I can make it rain if I want” – Michael Hughes
No.1 TV series: OC
No.1 Sports person for 2005: Shane Warne
No.1 Mampoora for 2005: Bob
2005 SEASON
Some footage from last years NADOES FORMAL
Live feed from California and award ceremony
Illegeally blonde looking to take Cape Town by storm
*Illegally blonde will be doing there stuff throughout Cape Town the summer season.. watch this space for more information..